When you are expecting a new baby, it is very important to prepare your older sibling about what to expect. If you do not explain them what will be happening and the emotions that they might have, they might not be able to cope with all the feelings that they might have or even make up what the mother thinks of them in their own thoughts, which might be totally different from what you think.
Here are a list of few tips that can help you how to prepare your older sibling before new baby arrives.
Explain Clearly in Simple Language
First explain to the older child about coming of a new family member in simple language. If you explain to him/her clearly, he will come to have anticipation for a new sibling. Share with them what a blessing from God that they can have a new baby friend to play with and have a blast in the family. Tell him/her that you can take a bath together and play ball together later on and it will be so fun. Another great way is showing another newborn before the new baby and tell the older child that you will also be meeting his/her new baby at home. If you do not have an opportunity to show your child a newborn baby, you can try to show him/her through a baby doll.
Practice Being Separated
Soon, mother will be in the hospital and the older child will be separated from the mother, maybe for the first time. To reduce the shock, make sure that you try to bring the older child to grandparents’, or other relatives’ house before and let him/her experience a sleep-over. After they had one or more sleep-overs, they will realize that they will go back home in a day or two. Tell them that mother needs to be away a few days in the hospital and will be back home with their sibling.
Call and Talk to Big Sibling While in Hospital
Although the older child cannot stay in the hospital overnight, the hospital do allow older sibling to visit. Though it could be more difficult to have the older sibling and meet his or her needs while taking care of you and the baby, let the older child see the mother and be assured that you are coming back home soon. Call them to give comfort and security.
Tell the Big Sibling that You Love Her/Him
The older child can easily compare and be upset that only the new baby gets all the attention and make up their own mind that parents no longer love them the same way. Make sure to tell them that you love them, but express that the little baby needs more attention because the baby cannot do anything without you. Spend a good amount of time with the older child to remind them that you have them. When you buy a toy or a cloth, try to buy one for the older child too. Make sure, the older one gets enough attention and knows that he/she is loved the same way as the baby does.
Establish a Regular Playdate
First few days or weeks are very difficult for the parents. If you don’t have one, establish a play date, so that your older child can go and play together. It could be very difficult to always take care of two or more children, so setting a playdate and a routine can help so much even though it is only an hour or two.
Read Books about Welcoming a New Baby
Young child can follow along books, sharing experiences of others who are also waiting for their baby sibling. Reading aloud is a great way to connect with your children; it opens ways to ask good questions about what they anticipate or about what they feel.
There’s Going To Be A Baby by John Burningham, complemented by Helen Oxenbury’s illustrations, “follows the swirl of questions in the mind of a young child anticipating a baby sibling with excitement, curiosity, and just a bit of trepidation (Amazon Book Review).”
Below are some of great books to tell the older child. You can click on the pictures to purchase.
- There’s Going to Be a Baby by John Burningham and Helen Oxenbury
- I’m a Big Brother by Joanna Cole and Rosalinda Kightley
- I’m a Big Sister by Joanna Cole and Rosalinda Kightley
- My New Baby by Rachel Fuller
