Our first son who just turned two in August started to throw time-busters once again. It would take twice as long to dress him, leave the house, eat, bath and sleep. He resists to everything and try every incident a “fun” time for him and make mom exhausted by trying just to change diaper or cloth him.
I have been strict “before” and may have returned to setting no boundaries again. Here are some of the roots of all time-busters according to the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers.
- Parents don't stick to a structured routine.
- Parents allow the child to be in charge.
- Parents don't start as they mean to go on.
- Parents don't set limits.
- Parents have no boundaries - they respect the child but don't demand respect in return.
- Instead of accepting their child's temperament, parents keep hoping it will change.
- Parents haven't helped the child develop self-soothing skills.
- A crisis occurs, such as illness or an accident; parents relax their rules but never reestablish them, even after the child is better.
- Parents are arguing with each other, not paying enough attention to their child-and in time no one knows what the problem is.
- Parents are dealing with their own "ghosts" of the past, which makes it hard for them to see their child clearly.
Looking back, I was away from my son for a business meeting for a few days. To cope with the first trauma of being away, I may have been easing off on the rules.
I thought I should be better on him, but he is already taking advantage! Make sure rules are intact because time-busters are neither beneficial for the child nor for the parent. I will try to set clear rules and let him that I am in charge instead of the other way.
